Feliz Cumpleanos

Hoy es el cumpleanos de Ingrid. Tiene cinco anos. Cuando llego a la casa de la ninera, tenia tres anos. Y hoy, cinco. No es "toddler." Es "nina."

Y no es mi nina.

Feliz cumpleanos, munequita.


(See, I really do speak Spanish.) Today is Ingrid's birthday. She's five. When she first arrived at her foster home, she was three. And now, five. She's not a toddler. She's a little girl. And she's not my little girl. Happy birthday, baby doll.

Remember the "old blog"?

Remember, before I deleted everything? Remember how I used to talk about avoiding studying for my comprehensive exams? Good times.

Well, seems like I've moved on. Now that I've passed the comprehensive exams (just as I predicted, all 23 of us passed), I'm now officially a Doctoral Candidate. Big whoop. All But Dissertation, good enough for me. I was so excited at the idea of just being a doctoral student that I went out and purchased a new $200 Coach bag to carry my stinkin' books! (Turns out the leather made it too heavy to actually carry with all the books I needed, though.) So now that I'm ABD, I'm now a candidate and not just a student. And that means I really have to work on the dissertation.

During our very first class, the professor kept shouting out "Great dissertation idea!" at every statement. Come on, it was our FIRST class (out of 15 classes). I wasn't sure I was going to stick around for class #2, let alone the dissertation! I didn't need a dissertation idea, I needed a clue on how to actually do my paper for that one class!

A year and 18 credits later (and my fantastic new boyfriend Doug), we were told to prepare the first chapter to our dissertation. WHAT? Excuse me? I still didn't finish half of this program, and now you want me to write 20% of my final exam? Are you serious? I think three people had the chapter completed when that was first assigned.

Another year later, by now we're at 13 completed classes (after my summer experience and several months into Waiting for Ingrid, preparing for my visit trip), we're assigned Dissertation Advisors. What's your topic, Stacy?

My what? My topic? For what? Ooohhh, for the dissertation. I've been so busy trying to find a child to adopt that I forgot to really pick a topic! Well, I started the program wanting to study the effects of technology on foreign language classes. I found some related studies, but there's an entire doctoral program on that topic at another university (where my sister had just finished her Bachelor's degree, by the way), so I'm probably not well qualified for that study. I can do technology or I can do language acquisition, those are my areas of expertise. If I do technology, I have to find the theories on my own because our Instructional Technology class had almost NO theory in it and frankly, wasn't much good. If I do language acquisition, I'm pretty much limiting my options for a position as Curriculum Developer, since my Bachelors and Masters are both in language fields. I wanted my doctorate to prove I can do other things. So I went with the technology option.

Months go by and I can't figure out a viable research question. Something about students' outside technology use affecting their literacy skills? Something about how teachers effectively integrate technology? Something about blogging? All good ideas and worth looking into, but nothing really dissertation material.

And then came The Lie. I kept trying and trying to come up with a dissertation topic. I kept trying and trying to get some news about my adoption process. I kept trying and trying to call Ingrid in Guatemala (like the director told me to do, but the foster mother said she was afraid of the attorney). I kept trying and trying to do the right thing in my classes and teach children then way I knew best. I kept trying and trying to raise money to hire Adoption Supervisors. My head hurt from banging it against so many proverbial walls. Eventually, I just caved and went with the language acquisition topic. It was easier, people comment about how at ease I am when I describe the related phenomena, and the program coordinator (that first professor who kept shouting "Great idea" three years ago) said it was OK.

So I have my topic. And I even did a few papers during my coursework on related topics (that's what you're supposed to do, so you have a literature base available when you start your actual dissertation, and that's why they want you to pick a topic so early in the program). I'm going to explore Heritage Language Learners' literacy skills in the traditional Spanish classroom. The program coordinator gave me a study on gifted ed, seeing how teachers differentiate for gifted students. (My hypothesis treats HLL ability similar to a gift or talent.) I really liked that idea.

Dissertation Advisor (the one who got hit by the car last week) wanted more. He had another good idea. He thought I should compare programs for HLL, seeing if there were a difference in reading scores (reading in Spanish) if students went through a Spanish for Native Speakers course compared to being in a traditional Spanish class. So, I spent the past month looking for literature on the latter (there's A LOT on the former). And what did I find?

Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Just as I thought (and the program coordinator agreed, which is why she gave me the idea, her husband is a Spanish teacher also), there aren't really any studies of HLL in the traditional Spanish class. Everything is on what should be done, or attitude surveys, or parent opinion pieces, or just being in a Native Speaker class. Nothing about teachers, only ONE study done at the middle school level, nothing within the regular Spanish class.

So I met with New Professor (she's new to the school and volunteered to meet with me and another of the Dissertation Advisor's protogees while he recovers), and she totally agrees that I need to focus on the regular class. She's another of the differentiation-type people (differentiation = adapting the lesson to meet varying degrees of student need). Program coordinator differentiates based on gifted/talented identification, New Professor differentiates based on Learning Styles preference (do you prefer light or dark? snacking? music or quiet? group or alone?), I'll differentiate based on language ability. So again, I think I have a topic for my dissertation.

I set aside four uninterrupted hours today to work on the dissertation. Nothing else to do but write (since I've already collected so many articles and books and have so many notes).

Can you then explain why I'm writing this blog post for one half hour of that four-hour uninterrupted block of time?

Wonder why the "Year In Review" updates stopped?

Because I didn't get any communication from the agency for those days!! Notice the dates in the following correspondance:


Date: Sat, 22 Oct 2005 17:37:18 -0400
From: (Agency which still has NEVER been named on this blog)
Subject: Re: I-600A
To: (My e-mail address)

Sorry for the delay...you will have the POA by Tuesday. I need to get the proper spelling of the atty name so we do the Power of Atty correctly the first time. Thanks

-----Original Message-----
From: Stacy B
To: (Still unnamed agency)
Sent: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 06:29:36 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: I-600A
Hi, Joanne. I didn't get this yet. I'd like to be able to print it before I leave school today (about 6 PM) so I can have it notarized on my way to work tomorrow, and then take it to the County Clerk before I go away for the weekend first thing on Friday morning and mail it off to the state.
Thanks.
Stacy

(the agency) wrote:
I will do up the Power of Attorney for you right away and email it by nightfall.



Anyone else find this a bit strange, avoidance behavior at it's finest?

1. It took at least three days (probably four, because why would I have sent out an e-mail at 6:30 AM unless it was something I hadn't gotten the day before) to get "right away" completed.
2. Now that I think about it, wasn't that "nightfall" supposed to be the 17th, the day I accepted the referral? It took five days for nightfall to come?
3. You don't know the spelling of your attorney's name? According to your own published information, your advertisements about your agency, you only work with four attorneys. You don't know their names? Or the spelling of the names? Why don't you just have them posted in your office? It's FOUR names!!! I know the names AND correct spelling of all 120+ of my students. It's not a talent, I just wrote them down in my grade book so I can access them whenever I want. Matter of fact, I also have them on my home computer. And the school network is available on a secured server on the Internet. And you can't get one of four names? Are you sure that it's you had to get the correct spelling, and not that you needed to find out which name to put? Because which name to put may take five days. Getting the correct spelling of someone you've worked with for years, that doesn't take five days.

And one year ago today, I made my first Ingrid purchases. I got her two outfits at the Hershey Outlets. I tried to post pictures of the outfits (and Ingrid wearing them), but as usual Blogger isn't cooperating. One outfit was tan and white, there was an adorable tan bucket hat that Ingrid just LOVED, and a skirt and blouse. The other outfit was this mix-and-match set that I got every piece to, all pink and white (cause a girl has to have pink). A sweatshirt, pants, skirt, shirt, socks, and headbands. One of the socks Ingrid left in the drawer during my visit trip (it was the outfit she wore when the foster family dropped her off to stay with me), and the next day the foster mother asked about the sock. ONE sock! Maybe socks in Guatemala don't get lost the same way socks up here do. I did mail the sock back in my next package. But in the meantime, I know it's corny, but I carried that sock in my school backpack. Just knowing it was on her little foot, that it had her stinky foot odor (just kidding, her feet smelled sweet like sugar), it just made me feel like my daughter left her sock in my bag. Like a real family.

One year, I should have known

Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2005 13:39:36 EDT
Subject: Re: I-600A
In a message dated 10/18/2005 11:05:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time, maestra46@yahoo.com writes:
The INS usually wants one original (homestudy) that is just notarized. You need to get one from (homestudy agency) for us and one for the INS. List Guatemala City as the embassy and the service center is your local INS office. Leave all info regarding dates blank.

I will do up the Power of Attorney for you right away and email it by nightfall.




(By the way, I didn't get the Power of Attorney until October 25.)

One year since I said yes

Wanna laugh? I can use a good laugh.

This is one of the six e-mails I received from my agency a year ago today. The first was telling me she'd send pictures soon, the second was the pictures, the third was telling me she'll fax information, the fourth was telling me she faxed the information, this was the fifth, and the sixth was telling me how excited she was for me.

Get ready to laugh. Oh, and I was asked by the agency not to comment about the e-mails they send me that I post on this blog, so I will no longer be adding my personal comments in another color. All of the bold and underlined were done by the agency. And one more thing, my I-171H was faxed to the agency on December 3, and my completed dossier arrived on December 12. So according to the agency, I've only been waiting a little over 10 months.


Date: Mon, 17 Oct 2005 13:52:17 EDT
Subject: Fwd: Steps to Adoption - October 2005

From: (agency)
Date: Mon, 17 Oct 2005 13:51:59 EDT
Subject: Steps to Adoption - October 2005

Each and every case is handled the same but each and every case will be processed differently from another. Your case might go through the Family Court process very quickly only to get bogged down in the PGN court. Another case might be slowed down in the DNA process while going through the PGN court in record time!

Please be assured that we are monitoring each case on a daily basis. We are constantly in contact with the attorney to be sure that they are following up on your case. The following is a list of the steps for your case.

The timelines are estimates and can be affected by workload, strikes, bad moods and good luck and bad luck. We will advise you of any significant delays or issues if they occur.

Please remember that in between each step the file needs to be picked up, logged, re-packaged and then taken to the next step. As a result each step is not handled the very next day after the previous step. The good news is that some of the steps can and will be completed, or at least started, at the same time.

REMINDER----- DAY ONE counts the day we have the INS clearance (I-171h) and the Dossier in our office. We can start the case with one or the other as long as it does not take too long to get the other.

10 STEPS TO YOUR ADOPTION

STARTING YOUR CASE
· Your dossier is sent to the attorney in Guatemala via FedEx.
· The entire dossier is translated into Spanish for the courts.
· The case is presented to the Ministry of External Relations. The Ministry of External Relations registers the case and certifies all the documents.
· This takes about 2-3 weeks.

DNA TEST
· The attorney submits the Request for the Authorization for the DNA test to be administered. You must have your INS I-171H to get the authorization.
· The Embassy issues the Authorization for the DNA test.
· The attorney will fax the Authorization to our office.
· We send your Payment Authorization to Labcorp who will process the DNA test
· The lab will send a receipt showing payment to our office
· We send the paid receipt to the attorney.
· The attorney can now make an appointment with one of only three approved doctors to administer the DNA test.
· This takes about 1-2 weeks.

· The birth mother and the child will be tested.
· The specimens will be sent to Labcorp via express mail
· The test will be administered.
· This takes about 1 week.

· The results will be faxed to our office. We will email you.
· The certified and notarized results will be sent to the US Embassy in Guatemala.
· The Embassy will open a case review of the adoption file. They are ensuring that all of the documents are in order.
· The Embassy will release the case once they are satisfied that all is in order. This is called the CONSENT
· This takes about 4 weeks.

The Embassy can call the Birth Mother into the Embassy for a personal interview at any time. They claim that these interviews are done randomly. This will not stop your case but it will slow it down as the Embassy will not approve the case to go on until they have had the interview which can take several weeks to schedule and complete.

FAMILY COURT
· The case will be presented to the Family Court.
· A Social Worker will be assigned to the case.
· The Social Worker will arrange for an interview with the birth mother.
· The Social Worker will arrange for an interview with the foster mother to see the child.
· The Social Worker will prepare a report for the courts.
· The Family Court judge will approve the case to continue.
· This takes about 5-6 weeks.

Some of the attorneys will tell us when the interview is and others do not. We are tracking it and following up so as soon as we know, we will let you know.

PROCURADURIA COURT (PGN)
· The case will be presented to the Procuraduria Court (PGN).
· A PGN attorney will be assigned to very carefully review your case file. The PGN attorney can ask for any additional documentation from the attorney or from the adopting family. NO information is given out about the case when it is in PGN until it is either released or sent back for additional information.
· This USUALLY takes about 7 weeks but it can take as long as the PGN attorney needs. If the PGN attorney requests additional or corrected information from you, it will delay your case. We are following up on each case will let you know the moment we hear anything from the PGN about your case- good or bad.

BIRTH MOTHER SIGNING
· The birth mother will come in to sign off on the final paperwork.
· This takes about 1 week.

BIRTH CERTIFICATE
· Once the case is released from PGN, the Civil Registry where the child was born will issue a new birth certificate. The name will remain the same with your last name added to the end. This is the name you will use for the flight reservation for the child.
· This takes about 1-2 weeks depending on where the original birth certificate is from. Right now it is taking at least three weeks to get a new birth certificate for babies born in Guatemala City.

PASSPORT
· A Guatemalan passport will be issued with the new last name of the child.
· This takes about 2-3-4 days. Up until about a month ago it took almost 6 weeks!

FINAL EMBASSY REVIEW
· The entire case is presented to the US Embassy once again for another review of the case. · The Embassy will confirm that all of the documents are in order.
· The Embassy will issue a "PINK SLIP" that will authorize the Final Medical exam.
48 hours not counting holidays, Fridays or lazy days
The Embassy now gives an appointment to the adopting family once the Pink Slip is issued. The appt is usually about one week after the Pink Slip is issued. You will not want to make travel arrangement until the Pink Slip is issued and we know the date of the appointment.ALSO....the Embassy now issues the Travel Visa the NEXT day after the appointment listed on the Pink Slip. So if your appointment is on Tuesday, you need to go back on Wednesday afternoon and then you can leave on Thursday. If your appointment is on a Friday then you will have to wait to go back on Monday to get the Travel Visa. We will help you with coordinating your travel plans etc.

FINAL MEDICAL EXAM
· The child will go to the INS doctor to get a final review of the medical records and to be sure that all of the vaccinations are current. This is needed for the child to get the Visa to travel to the U.S.
2-3 days

TIME TO TRAVEL!!!
· Pack your bags and go to Guatemala!!!!!
this takes about 15 minutes!!!!

A year ago today

I had gone out to dinner with Doug. No idea what we ate. I'm sure we were talking about referrals, because I had passed on two boys (knowing for sure and always saying I wanted to adopt a girl, after my summer experience with a boy). I checked my e-mail right after Doug went home. This is what I saw:


Date: Sun, 16 Oct 2005 19:40:37 EDT
Subject: News!

Remember the little almost 4 year old girl named Isabell...her name is actually Ingrid. Well she is suddenly available. The family that was suppose to adopt her ran into a delay so they have to step out of the referral. I thought of you right away!!!!!She will be 4 on October 29 and is super sweet and cute and happy and well adjusted. We have her medical and birth certificate etc and all is in order. This atty will wait for you to get your INS clearance as long as we committ ($$) to her. Not all attys will let us match a toddler if you do not have INS clearance.I have some pics that I can send you from the office if you are interested!


Obviously I sent back that I was interested and to get the other information to me ASAP. I got a fax of her medical report (the only one I've ever gotten) and about 35 pictures taken during the director's previous visit (now I get 12 pictures).

After I got the e-mail and responded, I called Vicki, Resa, and Dawn. Of course no one answered the phone, so I left a message on each machine. And then I sent this e-mail (notice the date and time):
<<<10/16/2005>>>
Hi, Resa, Vicki, and Dawn. I tried to call you when I got this news (except for Dawn because it was too late). This is the link to see little Ingrid. When you open the page, scroll down a little bit until you see "Isabella." That's not her name - her name is Ingrid. And she's AVAILABLE and waiting for ME...

It's been 52 weeks. Tonight will be a complete year. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.