My Last Post
Note: Before I started my adoption journey and they were just "plans" to adopt, I picked out names. Eliza Jane was my girl's name.
And then along came Ingrid Jeaneth. I was told she went by Ingrid, so that's what I've almost always called her. But then I found out (about 10 months into my "process") that she prefers to go by Jeaneth, which is pronounced more like Janette. So that was going to be her American name. Same as her Guatemalan name, just a different spelling so that teachers will be able to actually say her name correctly. Janette.
This blog needs to end before I can continue. I need to move past this hurt. Ingrid will never be my daughter, only for those few days in February 2006. And as I type this, the hurt is just too real for me to end this blog and move on. I will be able to fulfill my dream.
Baby Jane, by Rod Stewart
Note: first few lines omitted as they don't apply
I wish I knew what I know now before
When I give my heart again
I know it's gonna last forever
No one tell me where or when
I know it's gonna last forever
Baby Jane don't it make you feel sad
just when I thought that we were winning
You and I were so close in every way
don't time fly when you're loving and laughing
I've said goodbye so many times
the situation ain't all that new
Optimism's my best defense
I'll get through without you
When I give my heart again
I know it's gonna last forever
No one tell me where or when
I know it's gonna last forever
I won't be that dumb again
I know it's gotta last forever
When I fall in love again
I know it's gonna last forever
Baby Jane I've said all I want to say
go your own way don't think twice about me
Cause I've got ideas and plans of my own
so long darlin' I'll miss you believe me
The lesson learned was so hard to swallow
but I know that I'll survive
I'm gonna take a good look at myself and cry
When I give my heart again
I know it's gonna last forever
No one tell me where or when
I know it's gonna last forever
When I fall in love next time
I know it's gonna last forever
I won't be that dumb again
I know it'll last forever
Good-bye, baby doll. I'll miss you. I love you.
Love, Mami Stacy
And then along came Ingrid Jeaneth. I was told she went by Ingrid, so that's what I've almost always called her. But then I found out (about 10 months into my "process") that she prefers to go by Jeaneth, which is pronounced more like Janette. So that was going to be her American name. Same as her Guatemalan name, just a different spelling so that teachers will be able to actually say her name correctly. Janette.
This blog needs to end before I can continue. I need to move past this hurt. Ingrid will never be my daughter, only for those few days in February 2006. And as I type this, the hurt is just too real for me to end this blog and move on. I will be able to fulfill my dream.
Baby Jane, by Rod Stewart
Note: first few lines omitted as they don't apply
I wish I knew what I know now before
When I give my heart again
I know it's gonna last forever
No one tell me where or when
I know it's gonna last forever
Baby Jane don't it make you feel sad
just when I thought that we were winning
You and I were so close in every way
don't time fly when you're loving and laughing
I've said goodbye so many times
the situation ain't all that new
Optimism's my best defense
I'll get through without you
When I give my heart again
I know it's gonna last forever
No one tell me where or when
I know it's gonna last forever
I won't be that dumb again
I know it's gotta last forever
When I fall in love again
I know it's gonna last forever
Baby Jane I've said all I want to say
go your own way don't think twice about me
Cause I've got ideas and plans of my own
so long darlin' I'll miss you believe me
The lesson learned was so hard to swallow
but I know that I'll survive
I'm gonna take a good look at myself and cry
When I give my heart again
I know it's gonna last forever
No one tell me where or when
I know it's gonna last forever
When I fall in love next time
I know it's gonna last forever
I won't be that dumb again
I know it'll last forever
Good-bye, baby doll. I'll miss you. I love you.
Love, Mami Stacy
posted by Stacy @ 9:14 PM
9 Comments:
At 10:32 AM,
Michelle Smiles said…
Sorry to hear your blog is coming to an end but I have a feeling your journey isn't...good luck with what ever comes next.
At 10:52 AM,
Cheri said…
Stacy,
I am glad Ingrid that is (presumably) with her birth family.
I am glad that you are moving on to fulfill you dream.
I am glad that you have exposed the truth (to air on Jan 20th!!)
But my heart will always ache for the pain others inflicted on you, and Ingrid, and her family.
All my love, Cheri
At 8:45 PM,
Julie said…
I wish I had something else to say, but I think Michelle said it best... so... ditto!! :)
At 6:27 AM,
Sig said…
I'll ditto Michelle.
I am so sorry, but it is time to move on, I just KNOW you have big things in store for you.
I will always be there for you, my friend.
At 1:23 PM,
Krista said…
Best of luck to you. I've enjoyed reading your blog and have every hope for your "happily ever after" in whatever form it may come in.
At 3:01 PM,
Live to love and laugh said…
I am so sorry for your pain. Adoption is hard enough without all the problems you have had.
Best of luck to you in your next adventure.
At 4:33 PM,
noname said…
I will miss you and always wish you the best. I hope I find your new blog and get to read about you finding much happyness.
At 10:14 PM,
Angie said…
I normally lurk but thought I would comment this time. I cannot imagine the pain you went through. I can see how ending the blog is best. Good luck to you in the future. Take care.
At 11:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
I just checked out your blog for the first time, and I feel so bad for you!! My heart breaks big for you. I don't know if you will ever read my comment since you ended your blog but I just want you to know you are in my prayers. Also, Jesus is much more powerfull than that bad agency and attorney. I understand why you want to end your blog, but please in your heart don't give up. The Lord has a plan for you, please don't give up. All things are possible with God. Yes, all things...
Laura
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