How to contact me
I've had some comments left that I will not approve ONLY because they give accounts of similar treatment by Joanne. If these families are still in process, I will NOT jeopardize anyone's adoption by putting their information on this blog for Joanne to see. (I know that Joanne has read my blog. I don't know how frequently she visits, but I wouldn't be surprised if she pops up every so often.)
For that reason, if you are a family who is currently working with Joanne and you'd like to speak with me, please leave a comment with your e-mail and I will contact you. I will not "approve" your comment because I don't want Joanne do to do you, what she did to me. If she sees your name on my blog, or if she sees any distinguishing statements about your case on my blog, she may react. She's done it before. (And please be careful about what information you put on any blog, or e-mail group or any forum. Joanne has read things, and I've often had the feeling that she's sought out comments I've made on the Internet. She has commented directly about things she's read on this blog.)
Additionally, if you are a family who is working with an agency that has similar "practices," please understand that these are not the normal risks associated with international adoption. You did not hire an agency to be your best friend, nor did you hire the agency to bully you. You hired an agency to help facilitate the adoption process, and that is all you expect from this agency. (If you gain a new friend, that's great! If the agency is bullying you or intimidating you, or making you believe that the problems associated with your case are because of something did, then this agency is NOT operating in a manner consistent with what you paid them to do.) If you just want to bounce ideas, possibilities, whatever you think is a "snowball's chance in h-ll" that your agency is not being upfront about, please leave a comment (that I will not post) with your e-mail and I will contact you. Chances are you are not the only one with this concern about the agency. I know that when "it" happened to me, I thought I was the only one in the world that this ever happened to. It turned out that I wasn't alone, not in what happened with Ingrid, not in what happened with Teo, and not in what happened with Joanne. I now realize that sadly, I was NOT alone and this happens far more frequently than I'd once believed.
All said, I do believe with all of my heart that most of the adoptions from Guatemala were conducted completely ethically. I've met some of the most amazing people through this journey, people who have faced adversity I could never have imagined. And I believe without a doubt that there was nothing suspicious about their adoptions. And I believe that adoption is a WONDERFUL way to create a family, for the parents and for the child. I am thankful that my experience is NOT the norm, and I hope that Dateline showed that a few bad seeds can spoil the whole crop. May G-d watch over you as you progress through the adoption journey, and may He help us stop those who are hurting children and families with their actions.
For that reason, if you are a family who is currently working with Joanne and you'd like to speak with me, please leave a comment with your e-mail and I will contact you. I will not "approve" your comment because I don't want Joanne do to do you, what she did to me. If she sees your name on my blog, or if she sees any distinguishing statements about your case on my blog, she may react. She's done it before. (And please be careful about what information you put on any blog, or e-mail group or any forum. Joanne has read things, and I've often had the feeling that she's sought out comments I've made on the Internet. She has commented directly about things she's read on this blog.)
Additionally, if you are a family who is working with an agency that has similar "practices," please understand that these are not the normal risks associated with international adoption. You did not hire an agency to be your best friend, nor did you hire the agency to bully you. You hired an agency to help facilitate the adoption process, and that is all you expect from this agency. (If you gain a new friend, that's great! If the agency is bullying you or intimidating you, or making you believe that the problems associated with your case are because of something did, then this agency is NOT operating in a manner consistent with what you paid them to do.) If you just want to bounce ideas, possibilities, whatever you think is a "snowball's chance in h-ll" that your agency is not being upfront about, please leave a comment (that I will not post) with your e-mail and I will contact you. Chances are you are not the only one with this concern about the agency. I know that when "it" happened to me, I thought I was the only one in the world that this ever happened to. It turned out that I wasn't alone, not in what happened with Ingrid, not in what happened with Teo, and not in what happened with Joanne. I now realize that sadly, I was NOT alone and this happens far more frequently than I'd once believed.
All said, I do believe with all of my heart that most of the adoptions from Guatemala were conducted completely ethically. I've met some of the most amazing people through this journey, people who have faced adversity I could never have imagined. And I believe without a doubt that there was nothing suspicious about their adoptions. And I believe that adoption is a WONDERFUL way to create a family, for the parents and for the child. I am thankful that my experience is NOT the norm, and I hope that Dateline showed that a few bad seeds can spoil the whole crop. May G-d watch over you as you progress through the adoption journey, and may He help us stop those who are hurting children and families with their actions.
posted by Stacy @ 6:19 PM
3 Comments:
At 12:06 AM,
Anonymous said…
I just found your blog through your post on chew.typepad.com, and read through the whole thing tonight.
I was with a different agency than yours, but our initial timelines were very similar. I got stuck in that same Embassy slowdown waiting for DNA authorization Feb-Mar 2006...and that stressful timeperiod was when I first learned how erratic my agency was about communicating with clients who were already signed on and committed.
What is really freaking me out is that beautiful timeline you posted that your agency emailed when you first got your referral -- my agency used the exact word-for-word timeline.
So ironic. When I first got it in the mail, my mother and I read through it and agreed that it was really the best process timeline we'd seen anywhere, and thought it was good evidence that the agency director was organized, good writer, efficient, understood what was going on. All of which turned out SO NOT to be the case.
And now I am wondering what the original source of that timeline was? Up until tonight, it never occurred to me that my agency director could have completely cribbed it from someone else.
In the end, my case did complete; it was just slow. But I feel lucky in that, because I really don't think that my agency director was all that savvy about what her Guatemalan contacts were actually doing. For example, I found out on my pickup trip that the lawyer my agency told me was my lawyer was actually never involved in my case. Lawyer's daughter had struck out on her own as a facilitator and was running the case herself with a signing attorney. To this day, I don't know whether my agency didn't know (certainly possible that they pulled the wool over her eyes) or knew and just withheld the information from me, their client. Either way, that is a big deal to me.
So why am I posting this on your blog, when I didn't even use the same agency? Because these things are still bothering me and I don't feel like I can talk publicly about it, especially with my daughter home. Because of the spooky coincidence of that adoption timeline, right down to the underlines and the "Sundays, holidays, and lazy days" at the end, and packing taking 15 minutes. I had to look up your agency to see if it was the same one -- and it's not.
D
At 9:51 PM,
Cameo said…
You rock! 'nuff said.
At 11:36 AM,
Anonymous said…
Stacy
I hope you were able to bring home another child. (Hopefully from Guatemala)Your story is inspiring! I hope your heart has started to heal. Would love to know how things are a year later.
Stephanie a mother to two Guatemalan Boys
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