Losing Ingrid

I'm not waiting for her anymore. BIG BIG problems with the paperwork that have marred this case almost from the beginning. I'm now trying to deal with the reality that Ingrid will never be my daughter.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

A sad anniversary

Yesterday was 13 months since I accepted the referral of Ingrid. Tomorrow will be nine months since I first met her in person. Today is one year since Ingrid's birth sister first went into PGN.

Friday, November 03, 2006

What Hurts The Most, by Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain
On the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
And I just let ‘em out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though goin’ on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I’m okay
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away
And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain
Of losin’ you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ it
It’s hard to force that smile
When I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder gettin’ up, gettin’ dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away
All the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Not seein’ that lovin’ you
That’s what I was trying to do
Oooo, Oooo, Oooo –