Montel on repeat
So I finally caught the Montel episode on adoption scams. One word - company. I'm not alone! I'm not crazy in these feelings (not that I ever believed I was). I'm NORMAL, I'm in good company in this misery (unfortunately).
Of course I forgot to set the VCR. Face it, we all knew that would happen. I remembered when I was almost at work, so I called Resa first to see if she could tape or DVR it. No answer. Next I called Sue, who said she'd try to tape it but her VCR doesn't always work. Then I remembered that Doug was going in at 9:00 so he'd be awake, so I called him. He DVR-ed it. We made plans to go to dinner and then watch it together.
Montel, didn't like him. He focused on the money part of it. How much it costs, how these families were out $25,000 and no baby. (Yes, the money is a big part of being scammed. Because it's not like that much money comes easily, most PAPs take out loans or save for years to be able to get that kind of money together. But the real hurt in the scam is that you lose a child, and there's no pricetag to that. Of course, if money weren't an issue, we victims would be able to try again more easily, but it's so not about the money we lost.)
Family who tried to adopt from Guatemala, I think they may be my most favorite people on the planet right now (sorry girls, you know how much I love you all and couldn't be happier that your babies are home). She justified every single thing I've been saying. How it's not just the money, it's about losing your child. How you so much want to believe this is the child for you. How when you're stuck in this nightmare, you stop socializing with your friends. How when this happens to you, you think it may be a sign that you shouldn't be parents. (And to that, Montel very quickly said it wasn't a sign, it was a bad agency.) And by the way, the problem this family had - the signature on the birth mother's cedula. Sound familiar? Any of it? ALL of it? Except for the part that this family chose to stop waiting, where that choice was made for me (not really, I made the choice back in July but the agency chose not to listen to me). Oh, and that very important difference - this family was IN PGN, my POA wasn't even registered yet.
Overall, I was much better than I thought I'd be during the program. I was weeping, sobbing out loud is more like it, nodding in agreement and pointing like a mad woman, the entire time this couple was telling their story about Guatemala. Doug just held me and offered me tissues.
I'm NOT alone. This HAS happened to other families (unfortunately). And my feelings are NORMAL after what I've been through. It's one thing for all of you who've been telling me for so many months that what I've been feeling is normal. It's another thing to actually HEAR THE SAME FEELINGS coming from someone you don't know who's unfortunately experienced the same thing. It's amazingly comforting to know I'm not alone. Unfortunately, I'm not alone.
If you want to know agency names, the agency used by the family on this show is named on Guatadopt.com. You can do a search for it. It's not my agency, which means there are many more crooked people out there.
Of course I forgot to set the VCR. Face it, we all knew that would happen. I remembered when I was almost at work, so I called Resa first to see if she could tape or DVR it. No answer. Next I called Sue, who said she'd try to tape it but her VCR doesn't always work. Then I remembered that Doug was going in at 9:00 so he'd be awake, so I called him. He DVR-ed it. We made plans to go to dinner and then watch it together.
Montel, didn't like him. He focused on the money part of it. How much it costs, how these families were out $25,000 and no baby. (Yes, the money is a big part of being scammed. Because it's not like that much money comes easily, most PAPs take out loans or save for years to be able to get that kind of money together. But the real hurt in the scam is that you lose a child, and there's no pricetag to that. Of course, if money weren't an issue, we victims would be able to try again more easily, but it's so not about the money we lost.)
Family who tried to adopt from Guatemala, I think they may be my most favorite people on the planet right now (sorry girls, you know how much I love you all and couldn't be happier that your babies are home). She justified every single thing I've been saying. How it's not just the money, it's about losing your child. How you so much want to believe this is the child for you. How when you're stuck in this nightmare, you stop socializing with your friends. How when this happens to you, you think it may be a sign that you shouldn't be parents. (And to that, Montel very quickly said it wasn't a sign, it was a bad agency.) And by the way, the problem this family had - the signature on the birth mother's cedula. Sound familiar? Any of it? ALL of it? Except for the part that this family chose to stop waiting, where that choice was made for me (not really, I made the choice back in July but the agency chose not to listen to me). Oh, and that very important difference - this family was IN PGN, my POA wasn't even registered yet.
Overall, I was much better than I thought I'd be during the program. I was weeping, sobbing out loud is more like it, nodding in agreement and pointing like a mad woman, the entire time this couple was telling their story about Guatemala. Doug just held me and offered me tissues.
I'm NOT alone. This HAS happened to other families (unfortunately). And my feelings are NORMAL after what I've been through. It's one thing for all of you who've been telling me for so many months that what I've been feeling is normal. It's another thing to actually HEAR THE SAME FEELINGS coming from someone you don't know who's unfortunately experienced the same thing. It's amazingly comforting to know I'm not alone. Unfortunately, I'm not alone.
If you want to know agency names, the agency used by the family on this show is named on Guatadopt.com. You can do a search for it. It's not my agency, which means there are many more crooked people out there.
posted by Stacy @ 9:48 PM
2 Comments:
At 5:29 PM,
Calico Sky said…
That must have been hard to watch. I am no fan of the show, but, I know I am glued to anything 'adoption' (although lately turn off for fear it is negative). I don't get why it is always brought back to money, yes, it is awful to imagine people losing thousands, but they have lost a child and in some cases that child will no longer have the possibility of a family....that is the true saddness!
At 10:16 PM,
Stacy said…
For me, it comes back to money because I don't have a money tree in my backyard. If I want to adopt, to try this madness again, I need that money to make that happen. Another agency isn't going to say, "Oh, well, you lost over $15,000 on those first two attempts so we'll just wave our fees." But the idea that "This couple spent $25,000 and still don't have a child to show for it," that only tells 10% of the real story.
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