Two years ago
This is the exact e-mail I received two years ago TODAY, after my initial discussion with my buddy Joanne. I'm taking out the real agency name, as usual. I thought it would be fun to remember two years ago and think, well, you can read my mind by now. Eh, what the heck? I'll insert some comments to add to my fun.
Dear Stacy-
Thanks for your interest in the terrific adoptions offered by Horrible No Good. Since we only work with Guatemala adoptions, we really know what we are doing. Most of our cases are completed within 4-5-6 months from the time your paperwork is in Guatemala. Bah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I haven't met one single HNG family who's come home in this time frame. Even the person who "referred" me to this agency was home in 7 months!
Each family works with a Parent Coordinator (who for every family I've met has been director Joanne) to assist you every step of the way in the process. Most families come to us at the very beginning of their process so they can be sure that their homestudy and dossier are prepared correctly. Once we have had a chance to talk, we will send you out the Horrible No Good Getting Started Kit. The Getting Started Kit has everything you need to correctly complete your dossier, including examples and all of the forms you will need (except for the police clearance letter, which will take us about two weeks to finally fax to your police station). In addition, there is a list of all of the steps of the adoption process so you can track your case step-by-step (unless your case gets stalled at step number two, but we'll lie to you so you think you've gotten some of the other steps accomplished).
(NOTE: ONLY this section was in a different format on the e-mail, so I know that the rest of it was a form letter and she plugged in this paragraph to make it look like the entire e-mail was personalized. If I were naive and new to the adoption-scam game, I would fall hook line and sinker for this bit. Now, it's a HUGE red flag.) I don't forsee a problem with you having hosted a Russian boy over the summer. As far as I know it is not a permanent commitment that you made or broke so it shouldn't be a problem. I would, of course, be happy to do any additional research that may be required about the subject.
Horrible No Good works with excellent attorneys in Guatemala ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! so your case is handled promptly and professionally a ha, ha, ha. We get updates on each case every week so you always know exactly what is going on your case exactly, apparently, is a relative term, since we may get updates but (1) not from YOUR excellent attorney, (2) we won't necessarily share the updates with you every week, and (3) the updates may be lies anyway that we choose to believe, but those are the ones that we WILL pass on to you. Our clients always comment on the terrific communication they have with their Parent Coordinator! And please trust us on this. Because if you ask on adoption.com, a bunch of parents won't agree, but those are the crazy people anyway so you should ignore them. Also ignore the 10 bad comments on http://www.adoptionagencyratings.com/ and only believe the 2 good comments from parents who still don't have their children home after two years of waiting.
Unlike many agencies, we do not have a wait for a referral of a new born baby boy or baby girl. That doesn't really mean that you'll actually GET a referral of an AVAILABLE child, though. We're just saying we don't have a wait for a referral, we're not really saying you'll get a referral. Since we work with our families through the preparation of the dossier, we know ahead of time when you will be ready for your match and we can tell the attorneys to be sure to tell us as soon as a darling baby is born for you! In some circles, they call that "baby selling." Finding out when a baby is born for you, that seems like the attorneys are going out to find babies for waiting parents rather than waiting for a baby t be in need of a family and then finding a family for that baby. (If I were new to the adoption-scam game, this statement wouldn't bother me. But knowing that waiting parents get anxious about when a baby is available, I can see what a scam that statement is. It totally implies that the "attorney" will find a willing poor pregnant woman. That's what Thanassis did to Ingrid's bmom.) Our clients really enjoy knowing that they not on a long list of families waiting for a baby and that we will be ready when they are!
Drop us a note with some more information about your plans and thoughts about your adoption. We'd rather not tell you too much more about the process because we'd prefer to hear your plans, so that way we can cater our statements to what you say. Like if you say you're Jewish, we won't say we're a faith-based agency. If you say you're a Christian, BAM, we call in the "I became interested in Guatemalan adoptions when I was working on a mission." If you say you're a National Board Certified Teacher, BAM, so is our husband (who is, coincidentally, a member of our Board of Directors.) Just let us know your thoughts and we'll be sure to address them and make them seem like we believe the same thing as you. Also, let us know when is good time to chat on the phone so we can get to "meet" you and you can learn more about Horrible No Good and how we can work with you to bring home chuckle, chuckle, snort, snort the little darling of your dreams!
Joanne's underling
Horrible No Good
office 864-XXX-XXXX
fax 864-XXX-XXXX
www. Horrible-No-Good.net obviously not the real link
Guatemala Adoption Specialist hee hee ha ha hee
PS - For our anniversary this year, I took Doug to the Police reunion concert and he got me jewelry. What should I get for Joanne this year? Hmmmm, I think an anniversary card is a minimum!
Dear Stacy-
Thanks for your interest in the terrific adoptions offered by Horrible No Good. Since we only work with Guatemala adoptions, we really know what we are doing. Most of our cases are completed within 4-5-6 months from the time your paperwork is in Guatemala. Bah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I haven't met one single HNG family who's come home in this time frame. Even the person who "referred" me to this agency was home in 7 months!
Each family works with a Parent Coordinator (who for every family I've met has been director Joanne) to assist you every step of the way in the process. Most families come to us at the very beginning of their process so they can be sure that their homestudy and dossier are prepared correctly. Once we have had a chance to talk, we will send you out the Horrible No Good Getting Started Kit. The Getting Started Kit has everything you need to correctly complete your dossier, including examples and all of the forms you will need (except for the police clearance letter, which will take us about two weeks to finally fax to your police station). In addition, there is a list of all of the steps of the adoption process so you can track your case step-by-step (unless your case gets stalled at step number two, but we'll lie to you so you think you've gotten some of the other steps accomplished).
(NOTE: ONLY this section was in a different format on the e-mail, so I know that the rest of it was a form letter and she plugged in this paragraph to make it look like the entire e-mail was personalized. If I were naive and new to the adoption-scam game, I would fall hook line and sinker for this bit. Now, it's a HUGE red flag.) I don't forsee a problem with you having hosted a Russian boy over the summer. As far as I know it is not a permanent commitment that you made or broke so it shouldn't be a problem. I would, of course, be happy to do any additional research that may be required about the subject.
Horrible No Good works with excellent attorneys in Guatemala ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! so your case is handled promptly and professionally a ha, ha, ha. We get updates on each case every week so you always know exactly what is going on your case exactly, apparently, is a relative term, since we may get updates but (1) not from YOUR excellent attorney, (2) we won't necessarily share the updates with you every week, and (3) the updates may be lies anyway that we choose to believe, but those are the ones that we WILL pass on to you. Our clients always comment on the terrific communication they have with their Parent Coordinator! And please trust us on this. Because if you ask on adoption.com, a bunch of parents won't agree, but those are the crazy people anyway so you should ignore them. Also ignore the 10 bad comments on http://www.adoptionagencyratings.com/ and only believe the 2 good comments from parents who still don't have their children home after two years of waiting.
Unlike many agencies, we do not have a wait for a referral of a new born baby boy or baby girl. That doesn't really mean that you'll actually GET a referral of an AVAILABLE child, though. We're just saying we don't have a wait for a referral, we're not really saying you'll get a referral. Since we work with our families through the preparation of the dossier, we know ahead of time when you will be ready for your match and we can tell the attorneys to be sure to tell us as soon as a darling baby is born for you! In some circles, they call that "baby selling." Finding out when a baby is born for you, that seems like the attorneys are going out to find babies for waiting parents rather than waiting for a baby t be in need of a family and then finding a family for that baby. (If I were new to the adoption-scam game, this statement wouldn't bother me. But knowing that waiting parents get anxious about when a baby is available, I can see what a scam that statement is. It totally implies that the "attorney" will find a willing poor pregnant woman. That's what Thanassis did to Ingrid's bmom.) Our clients really enjoy knowing that they not on a long list of families waiting for a baby and that we will be ready when they are!
Drop us a note with some more information about your plans and thoughts about your adoption. We'd rather not tell you too much more about the process because we'd prefer to hear your plans, so that way we can cater our statements to what you say. Like if you say you're Jewish, we won't say we're a faith-based agency. If you say you're a Christian, BAM, we call in the "I became interested in Guatemalan adoptions when I was working on a mission." If you say you're a National Board Certified Teacher, BAM, so is our husband (who is, coincidentally, a member of our Board of Directors.) Just let us know your thoughts and we'll be sure to address them and make them seem like we believe the same thing as you. Also, let us know when is good time to chat on the phone so we can get to "meet" you and you can learn more about Horrible No Good and how we can work with you to bring home chuckle, chuckle, snort, snort the little darling of your dreams!
Joanne's underling
Horrible No Good
office 864-XXX-XXXX
fax 864-XXX-XXXX
www. Horrible-No-Good.net obviously not the real link
Guatemala Adoption Specialist hee hee ha ha hee
PS - For our anniversary this year, I took Doug to the Police reunion concert and he got me jewelry. What should I get for Joanne this year? Hmmmm, I think an anniversary card is a minimum!
posted by Stacy @ 4:44 AM
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