Losing Ingrid

I'm not waiting for her anymore. BIG BIG problems with the paperwork that have marred this case almost from the beginning. I'm now trying to deal with the reality that Ingrid will never be my daughter.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A tribute

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms
If you're not the one
Daniel Bedingfield

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
You're beautiful
James Blunt

I pray you'll be my eyes
And watch her where she goes
And help her to be wise
Help me to let go
Every mother's prayer
Every child knows
Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe
I pray she finds your light
And holds it in her heart
As darkness falls each night
Remind her where you are
A Mother's Prayer
Celine Dion

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me
Here Without You
3 Doors Down

TWO FUCKING YEARS!!!!!
I'm sorry. I don't like to swear on this blog. But really, today I need it. I didn't even talk about it today with Doug. I'm doing SO MUCH better, still haven't cried at work (although I've come close), barely cry about it at all, and I'm so much more comfortable actually telling my story. But today, knowing it's TWO FUCKING YEARS, I think I deserve to use whatever language I want.

2 Comments:

  • At 9:06 PM, Blogger Farrah said…

    Stacy I so know who you are now..
    I'm sorry this has been two years. What a terrible day to deal with!

    (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

     
  • At 9:12 PM, Blogger katd said…

    I just found your blog from the comment you left on mine. I am so sorry for your pain and incredible loss. What a horrible thing for you to have to endure. Thank you for sharing and thanks for your honesty.
    I look forward to learning more about your journey!

     

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